


Make-Believe

by laireshi



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel 616, New Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Unhappy Ending, hickmanvengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 04:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3106391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>It's all right</i>, he's saying. <i>I didn't just betray you and everything you stand for. I'm not lying to you. I lo—</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Make-Believe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [malfaisant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfaisant/gifts).



> I had so much fun with it.  
> Big thanks to [runningondreams](http://archiveofourown.org/users/runningondreams) for betaing :)
> 
> There are warnings at the end. Also, AXIS doesn't exist.

When Tony smiles at Steve and says, _T'Challa wants us in Wakanda_ , he's not expecting to come back from that trip having broken everything there was to break between him and Steve.

He calls himself a futurist, but there are futures he doesn't expect, _doesn't want to expect_ , and this one—lying to Steve, fighting him again—is one of them.

Tony knows Steve will remember. He's not naive enough to hope he won't. He has to prepare for it. Somehow.

He doesn't know how.

Fighting Steve . . . 

(He's been _not_ thinking about it ever since he woke up with two years of missing memories and the world hating him; ever since Steve forgave him and they pretended things were right once more.)

He puts Steve to bed and lingers there long after he pulls the blanket over him to make sure he'll be warm and safe.

(Steve hates waking up cold; it reminds him of the ice.)

The idea is already blossoming in his head by the time he makes it to his lab. Steve gave it to him, of course, because everything that's best in Tony comes from Steve. And this way—this way he'll get to keep him for a while longer, a smile more, one more embrace.

(They'll all be lies and he'll hate himself for every single one, but not enough to _stop_.)

There's no fixing it, and it everything will go down, this much he can see.

But he can live on that stolen time, for as long as it's possible. 

So he prepares the prototype of the Avengers World, and then goes wake Steve. He smiles at him warmly, puts his arm around Steve's shoulders, keeps him close.

 _It's all right_ , he's saying. _I didn't just betray you and everything you stand for. I'm not lying to you. I lo—_

The question is, of course, when Steve will notice.

__

He looks happier than he has in ages, looking at the Avengers World, and he has new ideas and questions Tony has foreseen and not.

They're building it together.

__

If there's a secret at the centre of it, well, Tony Stark is a great engineer; the machine will withstand anything.

Steve's smiling at him, that's what matters. When he stops, that's when it will all go down.

__

***

Sometimes he wonders about how easily it comes to him, lying through his teeth and cheating and smiling all the way.

Sometimes he wakes up and stares at the ceiling and wishes an incursion would end all of it, that Steve would remember, that something would happen, anything really, anything to be honest with him again.

(When has he ever been?)

He looks at other worlds and sees himself failing and failing and failing. Sometimes Steve stands beside him.

Is it worth it, Tony thinks, to see the world end, back to back with him?

Always; never.

He'll burn up the sun to save Steve. He failed to protect him once, he won't now.

Whatever it takes.

He wishes he could forget instead of Steve; it would be so much simpler. He thinks of expensive alcohol and finds Steve to distract him instead.

He wishes Steve wouldn't pull his punches when sparring with him, he wishes Steve would see through him, he wishes Steve would agree with him, he wants him to remember, he never wants him to remember.

It's easy to lie, he can do it for years.

It's impossible to lie, he'll break any moment now.

***

“Ask him out,” Carol says like an order, and Tony laughs helplessly.

This one thing hasn't changed, the one constant, forever; he doesn't deserve Steve, he can't hope for it, he can't even try.

Steve's just a friend, anyway.

He's been pretending his whole life, what's some more time.

 _I'll find some way to make this right_ , and when Steve sometimes looks like he wants to reach out and touch Tony, Tony jokes and makes excuses and runs away.

“He doesn't think of me like that,” Tony says, but the sharp betrayal in Steve's eyes in the dark room in the heart of Necropolis spoke volumes.

__

He can never fix everything that's gone wrong.

***

__

He's doing it all to save Steve, not to send him to a hopeless war in space, light years from home, light years from where Tony can protect him.

Maybe it's better; maybe their Earth will disappear in an explosion of white light and fire, and Steve will be safe, protecting other planets.

__

“Be safe, Steve,” Tony says from behind his mask.

It's like nothing has changed, the two of them leading Avengers, together, even if it's not physically—

__

Steve's smiling at him as Carol starts the Quinjet.

***

__

Steve smiles, _thank you, Shellhead, this team is the best thing that's happened to me_ , and Tony starts wearing parts of his armour in the Tower.

It's not as good as having the mask on, but it helps.

Nothing's changed, _right_ , they saved the world again, Steve still brings Tony coffee when he works too long, which is always these days, they watch movies and wrestle for the remote, and sometimes Steve goes easy on him and lets him watch bad sci-fi and comment on all that's wrong, and sometimes he doesn't and they watch CSI together.

Steve touches his cheek, and Tony doesn't dodge in time. “You look tired,” he says.

Tony takes a step back. “I've got a new project,” he says.

“Tell me,” Steve says.

“It's a secret,” Tony smiles, and Steve laughs like it's a joke.

“You workaholic,” he says like a caress.

“You know me,” Tony says, his voice tight.

He can't go on.

***

Steve stops smiling over a year later.

Tony never thought he'd have that long, but it's _not enough_.

“You used me,” he says, and Tony's done pretending.

“Yes, I suppose I did,” he says, but Steve still looks as if he's hoping Tony will give him an explanation, and Tony thinks the lies will never end. “And I'd do it again.”

Maybe it's the truth, who knows.

***

It's _wrong_ without Steve.

He makes himself work on the bombs Steve thinks he used already. He runs from the Avengers. He watches the machine he designed focus on hunting him, and a part of him is _proud_.

He's always been a great engineer.

He's been even better with Steve at his side.

He's cracking at the edges, he doesn't need Black Swan to tell him this.

He misses Steve. He misses his touch. He'd go for a punch if it meant Steve being near him.

Steve will never be at his side again.

Tony can't pretend this is right.

***

The blast knocks him off his feet. He's not going to try standing back up. The pain in his chest is sharp. He doesn't have to look at the RT to know it's getting dimmer and dimmer.

It's not really a surprise; he'd kind of expected the power surge to kill the RT on spot. It would've been better, he thinks. But this way he can see the other planet disappearing into the sky, can see it _worked_.

The device is a ruined mess next to him, smoke rising from it, but he smiles anyway. Reed has the blueprints, he can build more.

Tony hears steps. He looks to the side, sees red boots—

“Sorry,” he gasps out. “Took the monster out before you could.”

Steve kneels next to him. Tony's too tired to try and read his expression. “What have you done, Stark?” he asks.

“I said I'd make it right,” Tony says. Breathing hurts.

“This is not _right_!” Steve yells.

“Isn't it?” Tony asks. “I fixed the incursion. And I took out your biggest problem.”

Steve hits the ground with his fist. “No,” he says.

“You changed your tune,” Tony notes. There are spots dancing in front of his eyes.

Steve reaches out and puts his hand over the RT. “How do I fix it?”

“So you could throw me in a cell?” Why are they still arguing? When did that become _normal_?

“ _Tony_.”

He hasn't heard Steve say his name in way too long. Does it matter now? Everything hurts.

“Be safe,” Tony says, an echo of an old sentiment.

He can see Steve's lips moving, but he doesn't hear him.

Everything loses focus.

It's all dark.

**Author's Note:**

> Character death, Tony.


End file.
